


bold in a barren and desolate land

by teruhvighnen



Series: the drug, the dark, the light, the flame [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Implications of torture, Kid Fic, M/M, Mentions of Addiction/PTSD, Mentions of Capture, Natasha’s POV, Scene with domestic terrorism/shooting, outsider pov, prisoners of war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 14:37:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teruhvighnen/pseuds/teruhvighnen
Summary: At Basic Training, Natasha Romanoff meets James Barnes. During a mission, she loses him.





	bold in a barren and desolate land

Natasha watches the people around her, evaluating her contemporaries and finding not one of them worth her salt. Natasha has always proven herself the best of her class; it is the result of pure determination to succeed, so it comes as no surprise when she finishes the obstacle course first. What is surprising is that the second fastest person is right at her heels. He isn’t looking at her but she’s staring him down, urging him to look back at her, and then once he does, she poses her challenge. Natasha decides that he is the one, the one she’s going to have to beat. Natasha puts her hand out to him as they both wait for the others to finish the course.

“Romanoff.”

The guy looks at her hand and then smiles warmly at Natasha, glad to make an acquaintance. _Idiot_ , she thinks. _The army will chew him and spit him out like nothing._

He clasps her arm. “Barnes.”

 _Idiot,_ she thinks. _I will not let them._

From then on, they are inseparable. Barnes is her battle buddy. Barnes has her six. He treats her as an equal and doesn’t let her get lost in her head. They graduate basic training together. She meets the love of his life. Rogers is just as handsome and twice as stupid. She gets invited to their courthouse wedding the day of graduation. Steve does not ask, but on the day they get deployed to the Middle East, Natasha pulls him aside and promises him: she will not let James be lost.

She keeps her promise. They return home safe from the first and second tours. By the end of the second, James makes sergeant. Natasha is transferred to Intelligence.

When Steve and James adopt Elijah, Natasha is first to congratulate them. Elijah’s parents are killed in a domestic terrorist attack; they are two of many casualties but, Elijah makes it. Natasha is there at ground zero; she was supposed to be gathering intel, but she hadn’t been able to do it quickly enough. When the shooting starts, all her combat training gets put to good use. She ends up tackling the shooter and knocking him out. She doesn’t even realize she’s been shot in the shoulder. The whole thing she recounts to the police; every second of her thought process laid bare to them. After that, it becomes a blur _high-pitched screaming, muffled shouting, gun shots gun shots gun shots, then_ the toddler in the stroller next to her, crying. In an ambulance, they patch her up and a uniformed officer walks around carrying the crying the two-year old. She follows his case. _No next of kin._

“Steve,” she says, “he’s…there’s no one…I can’t.”

Steve turns to James and not even a whole second goes by when Steve says, “Okay.”

Elijah will know Steve and James are not his real parents, but Natasha knows that he will be loved by them as if he was their own. She knows it without a doubt in her heart; these are the best people she knows.

Natasha is not there when they adopt David the following year. She is someplace undisclosed again, on assignment. But when the video call goes through, the first thing she sees is his scrunched up red face, and James and Steve’s tired but undeniably happy smiles. Suddenly, she misses home.

But, her assignment gains traction, enough that a plan must be carried out. Her team needs another body, one she can trust with her life.

“I wouldn’t be asking this but, I need you.”

“Nat, the boys. Steve. They need me.”

Natasha begs him. It is unseemly for her, but she needs him. _Please, James. I won’t let anything happen to you._

“Clint says he’s willing to come down and help Steve while we’re on assignment.”

James stares at her, his eyes hard, his arms crossed. And then, resignation. Acceptance. He puts his arm out and she clasps it.

* * *

Anything that can go wrong, goes wrong.

She doesn’t stop looking. Those are her men out there, in the war zone. She cannot stop looking. Every excruciatingly slow piece of intel she gathers leads her here in an underground bunker. She and the rest of her team find her people, stripped and weakened, cordoned off to one disgusting corner in the bunker. She goes to help Maria Hill first, helps her stand up, helps her get covered. But Maria tugs on Natasha’s arm harsh and abrupt.

“They have him. Further down.”

The rest of her team evacuate the others who’d been held prisoner.

“Knight, with me,” she calls, and her and Misty travel down the bunker until they find James. He is delirious, without an arm, losing blood fast.

She and Misty help him up and out.

The fine details of the rescue she recounts with clarity when she gives her report. Once it is out of her, she only has one thing in mind: bring James home.

* * *

At James’ bedside, at the hospital, Natasha apologizes profusely to Steve, but he refuses to hear any of it. _It’s not your fault._

“If I hadn’t –”

“You found him. You got him back. You brought him home. Natasha, thank you.” Steve’s words brook no more argument from her, no more apologies, or blames. Steve gathers her in his arms, and she cries on his shoulder. She can feel his body shaking with sobs too.

* * *

Natasha follows James when he insists on leaving Steve and his children behind in order to get better. She won’t let him out of her sight; she can’t. She drives up to him as he’s walking away from his house. She honks the horn and narrows her eyes at him until he gets in her car.

 _Idiot,_ she thinks. _He thinks he has to do this alone. She’s not going to let him_.

“So, where are we going?” She asks him. He shrugs.

“The VA would be a start…” she suggests. James nods.

So she drives them from Brooklyn to Manhattan. She helps him get set up in an apartment. She goes with him to the VA. She does not let him falter under the powerful gaze of Margaret Carter.

The first few weeks are the hardest. He drinks and does drugs. She joins him sometimes. All in the name of forgetting.

Peggy Carter talks to both of them, shows her empathy and her understanding, and then outlines to them the very real consequences of not taking it seriously. She oversees the both of them, sending James to rehab at his request and finding an exceptional therapist for Natasha.

Natasha drives James to the rehab center. He’s cut his hair and shaved his face. Aside from the scars and the heaviness in his eyes, he looks much like the first time they met all those years ago. A couple of green recruits ready to conquer.

She pulls him into her arms. His only arm curves around her waist and holds on like a python around its prey. She lets go. He tells her to visit Steve, to visit the kids, to let Elijah and David know how much he loves them, how much he wants to get better.

“Idiot,” she says out loud; her word drips with familiarity and fondness. Full of love. “See you on the other side, brother.”

* * *

Natasha pulls into Sam and Riley’s driveway at five a.m. The morning air smells nice; the smog of the city kept out. The walkway to the door is adorned in flowers; vibrant colors and fascinating odors. She fishes her key from her pocket and unlocks the door. Quietly, she puts her bag down in the foyer and makes her way through the living. Sam and Riley are fast asleep on the futon in the living room. She wonders how long until someone wakes up. There are all kinds of foods in their fridge; Tupperware after Tupperware stacked, full of food. She pulls them out and then a plate. She takes some grilled chicken and some casserole. She makes a salad on the side and digs in.

* * *

After breakfast, Sam sets her up in the basement too. And James follows her downstairs.

“So,” she starts, and he groans. There’s no time for pleasantries. She has to go straight for the jugular or else her stupid boy will take his liberties.

“Steve and Sharon, huh?”

She expects him to falter, but the prey fights back. He smirks. It’s terrible; it means he’s got the fucking upper hand.

She doesn’t like it.

James says, “Sharon and you, actually.”

“Uh, what?”

James thinks he’s so clever. _This one, she’s going to beat this one._

“Tell me you’re not doing something inane. Are you home-wrecking?”

James laughs, “It’s amicable.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“Sharon has given me her blessing.”

Natasha stares him down. _Keep talking until you make sense._

“She’s willing to step down so I can, you know, make Steve fall in love with me again.”

“And what is this about me and Sharon?”

James raises his eyebrows at her, waggling them like some kind of pervert.

“Oh my god, are you setting me up with Steve’s date?”

“She was interested.”

_Oh. Well. Then._

“Alright, tell me about it.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> yall: make them interact  
> me: it's not time


End file.
